Ode To Unused Things To my oversized gray Coach tote Standing sentry in my foyer closet Holding my car keys, wallet, Various other things I deemed "necessities" On a daily basis And now have not touched more than three times in 35 days I will never again complain how heavy you are I salute … Continue reading Ode To Unused Things
Humor
My Give a $h!t is Broken
There used to be a time when I wouldn't leave the house without makeup. There used to be a time when I wouldn't leave the house if I hadn't showered. Those days are a distant memory. So distant, in fact, that I'm struggling to even nail down a decade when I last cared about that. … Continue reading My Give a $h!t is Broken
Old Wives Tales
Remember when your mother told you to be nice to your brother? It's because a gypsy once came to the house, offering to buy you, but your brother wouldn't let her sell you. That one came from a friend, but I can certainly remember a lot of stuff my mom (and grandma and aunts) told … Continue reading Old Wives Tales
The Nightmare in My Kitchen
What's this? What's this? There's something way back there What's this? The smell is everywhere What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Gretch, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? It's been here way too long What's this? Containers … Continue reading The Nightmare in My Kitchen
A Common Affliction
I believe I suffer from a common, but seldom-discussed condition; I've coined it Parental Attention Deficit Disorder. Not with the Hyperactivity component though. Certainly not that. Anyone who's ever seen me on the sidelines at one of my son's games can confirm that I'm definitely not hyperactive. In fact, once at a basketball practice, I … Continue reading A Common Affliction
Most Likely To…
I spend an inordinate amount of time in my car: after school activities, clubs, sports, practices, dance, and regular mom-errands. That will surely change when Middle Daughter gets her license, but for now, well, it's not. Sometimes I can put 90 miles on my car in a single day, without ever leaving town. And I … Continue reading Most Likely To…
Ready, Set, Type
I'm pleased to announce that I've now reached the age that comes with exclusive membership in a club only for parents. Membership in this club includes, but is not limited to, having teens or tweens in your household, immunity to eye rolls, constant use of the word "whatever" (by everyone), and almost daily story telling … Continue reading Ready, Set, Type
Oh, You’re FINE
If you're a parent of children who are old enough to communicate, chances are you've said this phrase to them more times than you can count. Falls, scrapes, scratches, bumps, bruises, bug bites... sometimes our kids complain so much that we become immune to it. It's a parenthood survival coping mechanism, I think. It doesn't … Continue reading Oh, You’re FINE
Deal With It
It's been almost one month since Groundhog Day, almost one month since the celebrity rodent did not see his shadow, supposedly portending an early spring. A conversation with Youngest Son today revealed his sentiments on the four seasons - he sees March 1st as the beginning of spring. You know what all this … Continue reading Deal With It
Ode to a Carpooling Mom
Gas pedal, brake pedal gas pedal, brake pedal indiscriminate rattling metal rattle metal No time for a mechanic Breathe in. Breathe out. No time for panic. Don't. Panic. Just keep driving driving and praying driving and saying Just Get Me There. Up the driveway down the driveway maybe the highway maybe the service way Pick … Continue reading Ode to a Carpooling Mom
Gretchen L. Mulroy 