My Give a $h!t is Broken

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There used to be a time when I wouldn’t leave the house without makeup. There used to be a time when I wouldn’t leave the house if I hadn’t showered.

Those days are a distant memory. So distant, in fact, that I’m struggling to even nail down a decade when I last cared about that. Definitely pre-kids.

Today I found myself at the grocery store after being at the gym, which isn’t unusual. In fact, it happens every week. I cannot be bothered to drive all the way home after class and shower, just to have to get back in the car and drive to the store. So I throw a layer or two over my sweaty gym clothes, and power through my errands, in all my makeup-less ponytail glory.

Except today was a particularly tough workout; as in, keep a towel handy because I was dripping. (Sometimes when the instructor says “no weights today,” you might be afraid…) I didn’t put sweatpants over my sweaty leggings, as it wasn’t that cold out, but I had my sweatshirt on.

I made it through the whole store, my whole mile-long list completed. As I’m standing in the checkout line, I catch a whiff… of myself. And I am horrified. I am immediately aware that there are 3 people in my vicinity: the cashier, the bagger, and the customer in front of me. I keep my grocery cart between us, for added distance, hoping the smell won’t carry too far. Also hoping the conveyor belt and the register put enough distance between me and the employees. Also hoping not too many people are downwind of me on my way to my car.

I move slowly and deliberately, hoping that I can somehow contain the smell; also knowing that I’ll never know if they caught a whiff of me. Hoping that they don’t say as I walk out, “Wow. Someone sure needs a shower!”

Ah well. Whatever. It’s a good thing my Give a Shit is broken. Because this won’t stop me from heading out after the gym each week to get those errands done. I’ll just bring more layers.

Although I must admit I was a little less than enthusiastic to run into the post office after realizing I smelled like a high school locker room after a game.

3 thoughts on “My Give a $h!t is Broken

  1. Pingback: Ode To Unused Things | Gretchen L. Mulroy

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